Inca de cand citisem „Masura vietii” am asteptat cu nerabdare urmatoarea carte a lui Nikki Erlick; cu atata nerabdare incat nu am mai asteptat nici sa apara in limba romana, nici sa pun mana pe editia brosata, mai ieftina…
M-a surprins din start culoarea macilor de pe coperta si a cantului cartii – un grena-violet destul de apasator, eu asteptandu-ma, asa cum faci cand e vorba de maci, la un rosu stralucitor. Dar… e clar ca un rosu stralucitor nu avea ce cauta pe coperta acestei carti. O carte despre pierdere – pierderea unei fiinte dragi. Trebuie sa ne inclinam in fata autoarei pentru curajul de a aborda subiecte atat de dramatice – lungimea vietii in „Masura vietii” si, aici, durerea pierderii persoanei (si nu numai) iubite si cum alegem sa facem fata acestei dureri.
Daca in „Zilele ce vor veni” a Melissei da Costa suntem purtati prin lentul proces de retrezire la viata si acceptare a pierderii celor care faceau viata sa merite traita, in „The Poppy Fields” ni se propune o metoda – fictiva – de izbavire. Una care mi-a adus din start in minte versurile celor de la Avici – „So wake me up when it’s all over…”.
Cred ca pasajul care urmeaza sintetizeaza cel mai bine esenta cartii, fara a risca sa dau prea mult spoiler:
„… you will always miss the lost person in some capacity, as there will always be an empty space where they once stood. Healing is not purely a linear process, and hightened feelings of sadness may be triggered by anniversaries or other potent reminders… Many former patients describe the feeling as „having come out on the other side”, a bittersweet state of cherishing the past while being able to focus on the future once more.”
„Grief is an individual journey. Everyone navigates it differently.”
Si de aici intrebarea: daca ai avea de ales, ai face-o? Daca ai putea scapa de sentimentul pierderii, de suferinta, ai alege sa o faci?
„… the sleep struck her parents as something dishonorable. Life and death, love and mourning, should be treated in certain ways, they thought. Sasha knew that her parents, and her grandparents especially, felt that the grief and traumas of history – both personal and communal – were meant to be carried, not discarded. Like weights to be worn all our lives, something to recognize, not to be rid of.”
„I think that a part of me is worried that sleeping is somehow… disrespectful to her? Like, maybe it’s important to feel the pain. All of it. Maybe that’s how we honour the people we’ve lost.”
O carte care va atinge in fiecare un punct sensibil, pentru ca fiecare am iubit si am pierdut persoane iubite, persoane care erau lumea noastra iar noi a trebuit sa continuam sa existam intr-o lume in care ei nu mai erau.
O carte despre ceea ce ne tine in viata si (mai mult sau mai putin) in toate mintile dupa…
„… it wasn’t so much a belief as a need. Ray needed to believe that he would see his brother again, in some unkwon form, in some unknown place. „
„… maybe she’s not my late mother or my dead mother. She’s my mother of blessed memory. Like she’s transformed from a physical body into something else, something that can surround me and shape me and protect me and guide me.”
„Loosing someone… it’s not like a sickness or a temporary rough patch you’re trying to deal with…. This doesn’t end. This is the rest of your life. There’s no getting over, there’s just… getting on. Figuring out who you are now, because you sure as hell aren’t the same person as before.”
„Could it be true… that the spirits of those who loved us could still wield some sort of power? That their love could keep working its magic on us, even from somewhere beyond? „
„It’s been said, many times, that we all die twice. The first, the actual moment of passing, and the second, the last time someone living says our name aloud.” Mie acest fragment mi-a amintit de „Coco”, filmul de animatie de la Disney, vazut si revazut.
M-am bucurat sa intalnesc in carte o ilustratoare de carti pentru copii: „Ava thought about these books being read, someday, by a grandmother to her grandkids in bed. With each new page she sketched and coloured, she could feel the enduring strength of Granny Mae’s roots beneath her, anchoring and nourishing still.” – Granny Mae, acelasi tipar al femeii puternice si protectoare, care mi-a amintit de Norma din „Toate culorile intunericului”, de Dearbhla din „Paznicul de noapte”.
Si din nou despre placerile lecturii: „She could travel the globe or travel through history, feel love or hate or envy or hope, any day she pleased, any time she checked out a new book.”
Si despre menire, destin: „I think that if you’re capable of greatness, you have to use it to better the world. Leave the planet or the people around you stronger, or happier, or healthier.”
In final, cartea este despre dragoste. „… If it hurts this much now… than I must have been pretty darn lucky.”
„Here, in this room, was grief. But grief was love in its second shape.”
Si chiar despre maci, despre care nu stiusem ca „After the First World War, they were one of the earliest flowers to begin growing again among the wreckage of the battlefields in Europe. … If something so spectacular can still blossom in even the most disturbed earth, than doesn’t that mean there’s hope for even the most battered hearts to heal?”




































